Desire vs Love

Wow, today i am awared that whats really love and whats desire.. That sometimes these things are mix up together... That lots of time are desire driving us behind.. And we thought thats love.. And wow.. This is the journey only i start discovering and start to get to know whats love.. And who had i learn love from since i was a kid till now.. Cool thing, now this reminds me about "When u think u know everything, u know nothing" this phrase.. And what we had learn from kids till now wow.. Is like WHAT?!?!? Hahahah!! I understand the feeling.. Coz i am on this amazing journey of discovery and re-defining life.. Yeahhh.. People learn and move like snails, it takes one step at a time and keep on moving.. And i do believe i am more than who and where and what i am now.. That is life is not only a surviving and also a routine and like same story line... I do believe my story line is worth reading and is empowering.. Yeah... I do create my life.. And i create and i choose to be who i am too!! Hehehe!! And now discovering that this world is really a fun place to be at.. And yeah.. Is really amazing to have this amazing life.. And Today is my best day!!! 

OOpppss feels like out of the topic.. And actually is related, that is about what is desire and what is love ? Redefining what are these.. And where we learn from.. Or unlearn what we had learn before since we are kid... Coz this is like repeating the same and same old thousands of history in life.. Hahahaha!!! Yeaaaa!! Keep on moving and moving!!! 

Thank you Universe 谢谢宇宙！

Today is my best day!! Today i am grateful that universe send me something that i got to face.. Thats about my past.. And i met my past church pastor and church members.. And i had fear in me.. That i can feel my fear.. That is i dunno how to face them.. And i am awared that is because of i leave that place without telling and without clearing clarity.. Thats the energy is bringing with me.. Is not apply to only my situation.. It applys to my work place, relationship and so and so.. And if i leave a place with low energy, i will bring along the low energy with me.. And yea... This truly happens in my life.. Wow!! Is really awesome.. That i got to learn this lesson at this point of my life.. Never leave a place with negative energy.. And leave with love and clarity.. Yea... I do believe, universe will only send me the lesson that i am ready to overcome and ready to face... And yea.. Today is my best day!!
今天是我最美好的一天！！今天我很感恩宇宙给我一些我可以面对的东西。。那是关于我的过去。。今天我遇见了我以前教会的牧师和教会的朋友。。然后我感觉到我内在有恐惧。。那是我不知道要怎么面对他们。。我觉察到那时因为当时当我离开的时候没有一些清晰的沟通。。然后那些能量都一直在跟着我。。那不只是在我这个情况之下。。在我的工作上，人际关系上等等都有关系的。。当我是以低能量来离开一个地方，我会把这个低能量一直带着。。 是的！这真的发生在我生命力了。。 哇！！真的是太棒了！！我可以在我生命的这个时刻学习到这堂课。。。千万别以负面的能量离开一个地方。。而是以爱和清晰的离开。。是的！我真的相信，宇宙真的只会送一些我已经准备好可以面对的克服的一些课题来到我的生命力。。 是的！！今天是我最美好的一天！！！

New Lifestyle 新的生活模式

Today is my best day!! I am awared that wow.. Actually my life totally changed.. That truly it takes one step at a time.. That now i no longer need any attention from others or any acknowledgement from others.. And now im truly honoring my life.. That yea.. I come to a stage of everyday doing the things that is nurturing my heart and spirit is essential.. Like making phone calls, caring about my friends and my family... Applying CV tools in my life.. Meeting up with people i love.. Wow.. These are the important things in my life!! And of coz exercise too!! And these keeps me feels so alive.. Wow.. Once u reveal what you truly love and u have a taste of what truly nurture your heart and spirit.. U will never stop.. And this is the inner burning energy that keeps me moving on and on and on.. That adding value to myself and others truly matters!! And just authentic care about another human being makes a big difference in my life.. Wow!!!
今天是我最美好的一天！！我的觉察是哇！其实我的生命完全的改变了。那真的是要一步一脚印的。。现在的我再也不需要别人的注意或者是别人的认同了。。而现在的我是完全的尊重我的生命。。对了，我的生命阶段来到了每天做这些滋润我的心和灵魂为主的活动。。就像拨电话给我的朋友，家人去关心他们的生活。每天在我生命里运用CV教我的工具。。和我爱的人见面。。 哇！！这些都是我生命中非常重要的事情！！当然也还有运动！！这些都让我感到很有生命力。。哇！！当你揭开了你很爱的还有尝到了这些真正在滋润你的心和灵魂的时候。。。你不会再停下来了。。 这是一股内在在燃烧的一股力量在一直让我往前推。。那为我自己和其他人添加价值真的很重要！！那只是很真诚的关心另一个人就已经在我生命中做出了很大的改变了。。 哇！！
Yea.. We had trained to be winners and wanna be the first.. And that we put ourselves into a competition, a never ending competition till the day that we leave this world.. And yeah.. Guess what.. the ending is the day that we leave.. And yeah we gonna leave anyway.. And why not enjoy our life when we are alive, and by the same time being aware of whats truly adding and whats consuming.. and we are taught to consume but not investing.. And consuming is like doing things that we dont love that is not nurturing our heart.. Thats consuming our life.. And adding life to life... Yeah.. This reminds me in my class.. That CV truly adds more life to my years and also add years to my life.. Yea.. Thank you for coming in to my life.. And welcome to this abundance world!!! Yeaaaa!! Today is my best day!!!!
是的。。我们都被训练成为赢家还有要成为第一名。。然后我们把我们自己放进了一个比赛，一场没完没了的比赛直到我们离开这个世界。。 是的，猜猜看。。那真正的结束就是当我们离开的那一天。。 是的，我们总有一天会离开的。。 那为什么在我们还在时，好好的享受我们的生命，而同时成为非常的觉察到什么是真的添加的还有什么是消耗的。。然后我们都是被教成消耗者而不是投资者。。 消耗就好像在做我们不爱的东西而不是在滋养我们的心的。。 那时在消耗我们的生命。。为生命添加生命。。是的，那又再次提醒了我在班里时。。CV真的是在我的生命的时间里添加了生命，还有为我的生命里添加了时间。。是的。。感恩CV来到我生命里。。 欢迎来到了这个丰足的世界！！耶！！！今天是我最美好的一天！！

Today is my best day!!!

Today is my best day!!! What i feel like today is truly awesome!! That this morning i wake up quite early again!! And i feel great that is building up the momentum for me to wake up early!! And start to stretch abit of my body.. And yeah.. Feeling so alive and in the morning got more time and to connect with more people.. And this morning i met my friend.. And i shared with her about yesterday i share how i feel about my life with another cv family.. That i used to deny about my life.. That i deny that i was born in a good family, that with good people, loving family.. And that makes me feel like i dont deserved to be loved.. That i must do something to get love or archive something to being love or recognized.. Wow.. Thats a big illusion for me.. And i learn about actually is to truly accept where life brings me and where life puts me at.. And truly identify and acknowledge what i have.. Instead of wanting to prove to others that about what i dont have and keep wanting from outer.. Wow!! This is a great lesson for me.. And a very awesome message for me.. And Yeah.. In my life.. I am truly feeling awesome!! That wow.. everything comes to my life.. That i have a mission.. And the mission is to Add.. And to build.. out of willingness.. And also one of the thing that i learn is always learn from the right person.. That reminds me about Kev story.. That if u are bankrupt, and u wanna rise again, how can u learn from a person that had never been bankrupt? Wow.. This is a great lesson!! Heheh!!! AwesomeeeeEeee!!!

And i met another upcoming cv1 family just now... And he told me about that he can't be coming to join CV1 for this coming cv class.. And i ask him about is there any possibilities to come or postpone his trip.. And he saids cannot.. And wow.. I learn another lesson.. At first i felt down, and then what Kev shared with me comes to me again.. That try imagine that if there is no place for u to take bath and shift energy.. How will u be? And what are the choices that u will make? Wow.. And i choose to leave the energy since i leave the place and move on.. And focus on the possibilities.. And by the same time that never take for granted for everything will go smooth.. And by the same time paying attention about what are the possibilities.. And keep in touch.. And yeah, back to the intention, building long term relationship does matters.. And truly take every life seriously... Yea... This is what i had learn today!! And wow!! Truly awesome day!!! 

What i feel today is really awesome!! And when i was having breakfast with Joanna, she ask me a good question that is what is that attracts me that i will going out with her... And wow.. I reply her Violet! And from there i see myself that.. Wow why not her yellow ? Why not her Aqua ? Yea... Is the Violet is calling... And i love the violet part of her.. the joy part, the connection part and also the light energy.. And i see back my environment now.. Yeah... I am attracted by the Violet energy now.. And thats the time that i am now living the best time of my life ever!! Hehehe!! And then today i ask her to come to the one day class. And coz i met her for two times today.. And i keep keep on calling her to come for one day.. And i actually said it and said it and said it.. And by that moment, i felt that i had abit of hard selling.. Then i stop already.. And the rest is to let her to make decision for herself.. Wow!!! Really powerful today!!! 

And also for the new coming CV1 student.. When i am passing information to him like collecting deposit.. At first i got abit of fear.. And that is actually fear of facing what will come up.. And when i talk to him in the phone.. I caught my thought of procrastinate telling him the deposit part.. And then i shift it and tell him about it.. And things turn out great.. And also.. just telling the truth to him that makes me feel so light!! Hahaha!! Wow.. Yeahhh!! Cool!!! Hehehe!! And now felling more and more confidence in myself now.. That my confidence comes from who i really am.. that i no longer need attention from others and also no longer wanna look good and just be the real me.. Hehehe!!! 

Yeahh!! Today is my best day!!!

On track again!! And wow!! Amazing Growth!!! 又回到轨道了，还有很棒的成长！！

Today is my best day!! In this chinese new year.. And between the event and my daily lifestyle.. Like writing MP and writing awareness journey.. Wow.. It really do have affected.. And i am awared that these few days i didnt write so much awareness and also missed few days for my MP.. And i am awared that actually this so called Events in life comes.. It is a good time to practice the discipline muscle again!! And yeah.. I pick up again today.. to write my own journal with pen.. And also being on track on MP again... Wow!! Is really a great start!! And thank you for always being there!! 

今天是我最美好的一天！！在这个农历新年。。然后呢，就在这个节日和我每天的生活模式。。就像写MP和亲笔写觉察日记。。哇！真的是有影响啊！我觉察到这几天我没有写很多的觉察日记，也好几天都没写MP。。我觉察到其实这些我们生命里所谓的节日的到来，都是很好的机会来给我们练习自律的机会！是的！今天我又重新拿起了我的笔！然后再回到写MP的轨道上了！哇！！这真是一个很好的开始！！谢谢你一直都在这里！

And in these few days.. I felt that my inner confidence grows alot.. And today.. I went to Maybank and wanna open a savings account.. And i only found out that if wanna open a personal savings account, that requires my payslip statement or my EPF statements.. And this time i still do my best and ask them if there is possibilities and other ways that i can do? And by asking that question i felt great for myself coz i know that i already bring my new self into my daily life now.. And also i no longer being limited from the title.. and like banker last time for me this title is like very high educated person, and i must speak good english only i can communicate with them.. Wow.. What a big illusion.. And this time when i talk with the banker, i am awared that wow.. I am no longer being limited by the so called ranking or title now.. And also now i know how to ask the right question and focus on it, and looking for the right person to ask.. Wow.. And also today.. I found out that my english speaking really improves so much!! Hehehe!! Yeahhh!! Today is my best day!!

在这几天里，我感觉到我的内在的信心成长了很多。。还有今天呢，我去Maybank要开一个储蓄户口。。然后我发现到原来要开一个个人的储蓄户口需要到我的每个月的薪水单或是我的公积金的单！在这个时候里我还是做到我的最好再问他们说还有什么可能性或者是有什么可以行得通的方法？在问这个问题的时候，我为我自己感觉到骄傲！因为我知道我已经把新的我带进我每天的生活里了。我再也不会受到头衔的限制了。。　就像以前我总觉得银行家的头衔对我来说是一个学历很高的人，然后我一定要说很好的英文才可以和他们一起沟通。。　哇！！这真的是一个很大的幻觉！这次当我和这个银行家说话的时候，我发现到我真的没有被所谓的头衔或者是阶级所被限制。然后呢，我现在学会怎么样问对的问题然后专注在那里，然后去找到对的人来问，哇！！　还有今天！我的说得英文真的进步了很多！！！耶！！！今天是我最美的一天！！

My awareness 27/1/14

Today is my best day!!! I am grateful that i am living in my best self!! And now, feeling so semangat!! yesterday i had an awareness, that is about confidence.. That i remember linda shared with me about self confidence is start appreciate and stop comparing.. Although this simple words for me.. But it is really a deep rooted life patterns in my life. And yesterday i had some recall of my childhood.. which i had already learn to compare with others.. During everytime chinese new year or any gathering with my relatives.. I used to compare myself with others.. like my uncle family, auntie family.. That they speak very good english at home.. And at the other hand, even i am very good in my english.. And actually i am a super good student... And coz of the belief system that my family plant in me.. that makes me believe in my english is not good.. and dont like to speak with them.. And also the environment that i grow up.. that is the context that i came from before.. like my school friends.. that they dont mix around with others school friend which is english educated friends.. and from there my context is there only.. And understanding this about my context is not to judge my past and of coz they are all good people.. and now is only identifying that where do i come from and how can i expand my context!! Heheh! And when i feel i have no confidence, means that the past programming is running on me thats like comparison, and not appreciate something.. Yeah... Today is my best day!! I choose to being my best self and add value to the world!!!